Being sick yourself, or having a sick baby?
Every other mother would know what I mean. I feel exactly how my mother always said she felt. I used to think moms are being selfish thinking like that. Maybe I am selfish too. But it tears my heart to see him groan when his fever increases.
Why is it him and not me? My own positive self urges me to think otherwise. That I am here to take care of him and feed him, but if I were sick, it would be more problematic. That, he would not drink milk from any other source and that he doesn’t take solid foods yet. That, his father doesn’t know how to bathe him, and all.
But somehow, it’s easier to think negatively rather. I’m fighting my way to be calm.
Pappu is sick, again. His urinary tract infection is back. So are my mommy guilts. (For inquiring minds, this is not anything related to the falling). He is quite okay right now, behaving as if he had never had a fever, still playful and cheerful. Seeing him play and hearing his happy sounds kind of takes off all the worries from my mind.